Reflections

Yep, it's been a while since I've blogged. I haven't felt too into it to be honest. Although, I guess nothing has happened in my life worth mentioning! Nothing recently, anyway. However, I went home for a quick jaunt this last week. It was a much needed trip. I feel it has rejuvinated me and in perfect timing, of course, with the start of a new semester.

When I was home, my grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, old friends and friends of the family all were asking me how school was going and what it was that I was studying. Most, though not surprisingly, thought I was studying music. And most, if not all, were shocked to hear that it was, in fact, psychology that I am studying.

The last few months have made me not so excited about the idea of going into the field of psychology. Being a marriage and family counselor would be fun, though. But even with my scholarship in psychology and the 4-5 classes left I have for it, I don't think this is what I want to do.

Something that was so obvious to all those who knew me growing up apparently seemed to be a mere unatainable fantasy that I brushed away as impossible.
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a famous singer. In those days, it would be in comparison to Mariah Carey, Celine Dion and Amy Grant. As time wore on, I had my quick desires to be an actress, but come my last semester in high school, I yearned write!

Following events that lead up to my arrival at college, I forgot about ambitions and desires for the future. Nearly a year and a half had passed since I started that creative writing class my senior year. But as I took my Generals, one being an English class, that desire was revived. I enrolled to be an English major with an emphasis in Creative Writing. All was well. I even chose to be a music minor.

3 years went by and it was time for a change. I was unhappy. Perhaps it was the Advanced Creative Writing professor that I had who didn't give me too much encouragement. OR it could have been the nervousness of not having a stable, supporting job with my major or minor. Where could I go in life with that? Looking at different classes this university offers, Psychology intrigued me. I changed my major.

Now I'm about to graduate (two semesters left!), I have a scholarship, and a job that would look good on grad school applications. Oh but, grad school, that little thing. Can I possibly be accepted into grad school? Do I even want to go to grad school? I'm pretty positive the answer to that is no.

S0, to the point of my story. Everyone expect(s)(ed) me to be a music major! Studying voice and learning to compose, becoming that next Celine Dion, or perhaps Charlotte Church! The female Josh Groban! HA! And now, what should have been the smart, happy, right choice is way too far in the past and nowhere near being acheivable. The days of my formal education are over. . . well, at least for now. The thought does toy with me to someday return and use my minor credits to be in favor of a major and recieve a second bachelors in music. But something keeps puzzling me. Why did it feel so right to be come a Creative Writing AND Psychology major? If I could--I would receive a degree in all three areas! There isn't enough money or patience in this world to make that a reality.

Now, as I embark on this last leg of my journey to the beginnings of my future, I contemplate not upon what could have been, but what felt right and what I can achieve and accomplish now. I am taking an acting class this semester. Perhaps this will show me just how great, or not so great, I am at such a thrilling skill and talent.

The only conclusions, or possibilities I should say, that I have come up with so far, is to combine all 4 (music, acting, writing, psychology) of my "talents" and ambitions into one. What is that you ask? Writing reviews. I'm not sure how fun it would be, but it would give me time to visit favorite websites all the time and I could do this for all areas of my life.

What do you think? Did I go through college to have a BS in Psychology to write music/movie/book reviews for the general public?

My dream place to be though would have to be sitting in my beautiful home with a gorgeous family writing novels in my free time and taking my few precious moments alone to embark on the journey that is writing and recording music.