Truly my eyes open

Ok so I started writing this blog like a month and a half ago and just now I edited a few things and changed the tense but I guess I still wanted to share. Here goes.

Lately I have felt like I am thrust into the whole MoHo world. And honestly, that is not a bad thing. I have become great friends with a growing number of these men. It is interesting how quickly you can become devoted and passionate about a cause. Ask me a year ago about my feelings on gay people, and I would not be able to really give you a straight (haha no pun intended) answer. I didn’t really have an opinion. I knew that I didn’t hate those that were of that orientation and I knew that I wasn’t disgusted at the thought. Now . . . I get really annoyed at closed minded people who believe that all those who are gay or deal with SSA are “icky” and are just not true to themselves, they really just have other problems and are using this one as an excuse. Ugh, that makes me so annoyed. Especially at this university where there are a million very conservative people who haven’t dealt with this issue and can’t accept it. Be inclusive, not exclusive. Anyway, my point is, my friends are my friends. If they have an issue they are dealing with, I want to help them—I don’t care what the issue is. I may not endorse certain actions, but I want to understand their values and opinions and help them stick to those.

Last year I had an opportunity to see Calvin interact with another man. It was really weird. I’ll be honest about that. It was my first time seeing him after he had told me about his SSA. Even though we talked for many months about his SSA and I heard about things that were going on in his life (mainly from other people), parts of it still didn’t click. Two months ago I went to see my friends Delilah, Calvin, Brady and Sean. Delilah has had tons of opportunity to see the “gay side” of Calvin, heck she even dated Brady for a while. So, that weekend it was definitely an eye opener. I bet they all thought I was weird cause I didn’t stop laughing the whole three days I was there. Parts of it honestly were because I was uncomfortable. It made a lot of the stuff I had been hearing for 10 months come to life. I guess in a way, it made the struggle more obvious. Calvin has a hard time opening up and just talking about things, and often times you just won’t hear from him, and so going down to see him and basically re-meeting Sean, I was able to see for myself what he doesn’t talk about. And to be quite honest, there really isn’t anything to be concerned about. It was just very different seeing those interactions.

And now, after I feel I’ve had a chance to get to know Sean, and Brady better than before, I can really understand them better because I’ve observed them in situations and so forth.

To be honest, I don’t know what I’m going on about in this blog. These were just some thoughts I had. Thought I’d share.

Here’s a joke.
How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change itself.